Monthly talk: Christine Wallach – Now I belong to me
I found the title of our February talk intriguing, and when I heard what Christine Wallach had to say, I was certainly not disappointed. The first fifty years of her life were spent within the Exclusive Brethren, a religious sect with membership spread across most parts of the globe. Brethren are brought up to reject the outside world as essentially wicked. The elders assert control over all aspects of members lives, including education, dress codes, gender roles, finances and employment, even personal matters such as marriages and contraception. She and her husband, who was also brought up within the Brethren, raised their seven children to accept this way of life without question. Christine’s life certainly did not belong to her.
Things unravelled suddenly when two of her sons did the unthinkable and chose to go to the cinema late on a Saturday night – and got drunk into the bargain. There had been a previous warning so on this occasion they were ejected from the community. The elders told Christine and her husband to cease any contact with the rest of their family. They refused to accept that they would abandon their children but from that time Christine had no contact with her daughters, her own parents or siblings.
Christine described in detail the huge challenges of adapting to a different world which she had been forbidden to know. She told us how she made a new career for herself and while also discovering that she really enjoyed new freedoms and opportunities – such as going to the hairdresser without permission and learning how to apply makeup!
As if this was not enough, Christine and her husband also had to contend with serious family issues, especially the need to support her sons. One son’s life was in a spiral of drug misuse and addiction, with spells in prison. Their other son developed bipolar disorder and also needed an immense amount of support. Christine found she was having to live two ‘separate’ lives – the challenge of adjusting to a new way of living, while at the same time supporting her sons.
It is quite clear that Christine is an impressive entrepreneur. She discovered that her previous life had enabled her to develop some useful skills, especially in communicating with people. She forged a career in direct selling for Dorling Kindersley books and soon found that she was rather good at it. She acquired a reputation as one of the firm’s best salespersons and found herself being invited to ‘black tie’ dinners and ventures overseas – including to the casino in Monaco, a considerable journey from the enclosed world of the Exclusive Brethren but one she obviously relished! She later went on to run her own business, a tearoom, where her previous experience in baking for the Brethren’s tea parties came in very useful.
Her latest career is in public speaking, where she has a significant role with Toastmasters nationally. It is easy to see how she has made a success of this latest venture as she spoke with unusual fluency, without notes, and with no need for visual prompts to engage the audience.
Christine said she had enjoyed finding out who she is, and urged everyone to make sure that they knew who they are. Christine owns to being 80, and shows it is clearly never too late to find this out for yourself, and then to embark on new careers and adventures! As she said, ‘I enjoy being me’.
John Vick