Monthly talk: Jane Urquhart – Upstairs, downstairs

We had a good audience at our July meeting to hear Jane Urquhart give a highly entertaining talk on life ‘Upstairs, Downstairs’.  For most of us our only knowledge of large houses with the privileged ‘upstairs’ world of and wealthy people being served by legions of staff ‘downstairs’, is gleaned from novels, TV dramas and films.  Jane has personal experience of both sides of this divide, and was able to show that this way of life remains active and is a significant source of employment offering good salaries and prospects.

Jane told us a little about her life story.  She was born in the ‘upstairs’ world, but various mischances and bad romantic decisions left her at one point destitute.  This led her to seek employment ‘downstairs’ – from an advert in The Lady, needless to say.  After some years’ experience of housekeeping, she went on to run her own agency for domestic staff and then a training school for aspiring butlers and housekeepers.

Of course, this world today is not entirely as we see it in Downton Abbey.  Jane described four categories of employer:

• Old money – often in a large house but with insufficient money to stop the roof leaking
• New money – a wealthy entrepreneur or celebrity who buys a fabulous property and needs an army of staff to run it
• Corporate money – a business which has prestige property for hospitality purposes
• Foreign money – fabulously wealthy, and often from Russia or the Middle East. In addition to the normal requirements, there is a high emphasis on security.

Life in each sort of household will be very different with all sorts of different ‘rules’.

Jane covered a lot of ground and gave us numerous tips which you may (or may not) find useful as you plan your domestic arrangements in the future.  The value of uniforms (you mustn’t confuse staff and visitors); how you should address your employer (formality works best); how to give a female guest a cup of coffee (a silver tray and flower in a small vase come in useful); how  you should turn back a bed.

Particularly useful was the technique on how to avoid being kissed by a visitor (offer your hand to shake but keep your arm firmly out in front of you to ward off encroachment).  When you need to deal with someone who is drunk, your butler should tell the offender that there is a call for him – or her – in the next room and then offer a cup of black coffee.  We might all find advice on how to deal with misbehaving teenagers: tell them they are not bad people but their behaviour is unacceptable, and that there will be consequences later.  Don’t give details: leave the room, and leave them wondering.

Jane brought along an intriguing array of visual aids for which she invited members to suggest a use for a housekeeper.

• Cat litter – not for your feline friend but it is excellent for de-odorising sweaty shoes;
• Soap – not for washing your hands but if you scrape your nails along the soap so that it accumulates under the nails, you can then do your gardening and easily clean your nails afterwards;
• Soft toothbrush – ideal for getting into crevices when cleaning your silver;
• Shaving brush – perfect for dusting your ornate picture frames;
• Furniture polish – if you haven’t really done the job, spray it on the door frame so that a visitor will experience a lovely smell to give the impression that you have cleaned the whole room.
• A walnut – use it to renovate scratches on furniture.

All useful advice for us as we navigate our way in society.

John Vick